The bond of fatherhood
need some advice
like the title says, i need some advice. my daughters biological father or sperm donor if you will, has decided to get a hair up his ass and is now wanting to get sole custody of her. let me also throw out there that he has never been in the picture since day one. he ditched my wife 3 days after she found out she was pregnant and now all of a sudden thinks that he can just show up and try to take her from us even though his name is not even on her birth certificate cause he wasnt around. he threatening to take her cause he doesnt want her around me even though he has never met me and knows nothing about me and thinks that he can provide a better home for her. he clims to have his own house, but up until a few days ago, his friend who has been talking to my wife informed us that he doesnt have a job and is staying with friends because he didnt have a place so he is lying. on top of that, my daught was born with pyloric stenosis which a condidtion where the opening of the intestine to the stomach swells shut. she had to have surgery to have it corrected and now she has to be taken care of a special way and he knows nothing of this. he doesnt know her name, her birthday, her eye color, or anything about her. i need advice on what to do to get him out of the picture and to leave my family alone cause we just dont need this right now on top of my wife being pregnant and aready having a few complications. My daughter, my wife, and my son who is still in-utero do not need this stress and neither do i. HELP!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jon on -
I have similar problems with my four year old's dad. Asshole never even called until he was three years old. Honestly I think after two years it's considered abandonment. Regardless no judge in his right mind would give some one who hasn't even made an attempt to be around sole custody of a child. I really wouldn't worry about it. If dude doesn't have a job how's he gonna get a lawyer? Trust me you need one to get sole custody. By the same token I haven't made any attempt to keep my boy away from his dad, but you can guarantee He doesn't take the boy anywhere by himself.
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Permalink Reply by Kevin S. on -
How do you know that he wants custody? Did he ask you in person? In writing? Did his lawyer or the court initiate this? Did you hear through a friend of a friend?
I am asking these questions so that we can understand how serious he is about getting his daughter or if he is just hard up for cash and hopes he might extort something from you guys.
If this guy is a twit like you say he is then I would just let your attorneys handle things. Do NOT speak with him at all. Instruct him that, since child custody is a legal matter in our state, all correspondence will be conducted between our attorneys. Stick to your "guns" on this- if he even merely drives past your house- call the cops. Establish a pattern of threat. Let him know that, should he make any attempt to approach you, your family or your home the police will be called.
Do not get personally involved. I know that attorneys are expensive, but this sounds like if you make a decisive first strike he will turn tail and run away.
Ask around your church if there is someone who knows an attorney who might be willing to "write a letter" for a friend.
Blessings
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