The bond of fatherhood
IS THIS NORMAL?? anyone been through the same
hi guys, my girlfriend is currently 25 weeks preggers( this is all new to me) i am 25 she is 28, at the moment we dont live with each other and she has 2 other kids from a prevoius realationship aged 5 and 8 and wrks 16 to 42 hrs a week, this is my first. up untill she was about 3 months preggers we used to spend every spare minute together thing were really good with us. now we she hardly ever wants to see or spend time with me and want to be left alone to sleep nice to me 1 week and horrid the next, reply to text or calls me and when we make plans she nearly always cancels on me. I understand there is a lot going on in her body, has 2 kids to look after,works and all she wants do do is sleep when she can.when i ask to see her she says no i asks why and she nearly everytime fulls out with me and says im needy and clingy, she says as long as as im here for her when she needs me that is all that matter but all im only askin for maybe just to sit with her and watch tv and she can put her feet up. but no im needy. this dosent feel like a realationship at the moment. i help her out by taking her kids out to give her space.then she is fine with me for a couple of weeks and is moody with me again. I feel as im putting in all the effort and gettin nowhere. i talked to her sister about this and she said she is a bitch and revolting person while preggers and im not needy. she said its her horemones as did her mum. they both said just dont take it peronally,back off and just let her get on with it and ignore her, but im not strong enough to do that i just want to spend time with her. they said its not me and she will come running when she wants me. does this sound famillar to anyone? is it her hormones? what should I do? ADVICE please. cheers
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ed on -
From my experience, adding kids to the equation makes it 98% the children. You almost have to put your relationship on hold for a year or two. Difficult at best and I did not have kids to worry about from another father. My advice......prove you will be there and build a history together. The pregnancy and its miseries will pass but the memory of you being there will not. Focus on the future months and years together not the days and weeks. With not being married, she may be testing you to see if you will stick around, who knows. Dont miss a second with any of those kids either, it is something special to be a dad.
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Permalink Reply by Elijah Gramm Presley on
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Yea it is somewhat hormonal and somewhat stress but if your willing to do all of this and she does not understand how lucky she to have a guy who wants to be around. Let her know what it could be like. I'm only 17 but my girlfriend is full term and i've been though a lot of the same. I went to wrestling camp for a week came back and she was never like that again because she realized how much i did for her. It's tough i know i thought i couldn't do it, i could and so can you.
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Permalink Reply by Chris Barbara on
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Im 5years younger than you so i may not know any better, but my girlfriend is 10 weeks and shes gone totally loopy, I think the best thing to do is just be strong and confident and give her her space, iv found that's a vital thing to do, and it works. Its a good thing that you understand that shes going through alot, for the next 9months then some its all about her. Make sure she knows you will be there for her, gladly be her slave if you will, bite your tounge when things get rocky, its hard i know, thats what im doing just now and things seem to be going ok. hope this helps man.
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Permalink Reply by keith schur on -
maybe she wants to wait to have the baby are get married
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Permalink Reply by Joshua Koepp on -
Hang in there. It gets even worse for a little while after the baby is born and her hormones go through the post-pardum shift. My wife would cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes even hit me when I annoyed her. There were other times when she needed to be really close. When the baby was 2-3 months old and she went back to work her mood stabilized. However, after two kids, there are some things about our relationship that are permanently different. That's all part of being in it for the long haul. There are new things we're learning about each other now that we never would have discovered if we hadn't had kids.
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