The bond of fatherhood
Dad getting married??
I know this is a site for dads, but I need advice FROM dads!
My dad has been dating a woman on and off for over 10 years... He's always been hesitant to commit to her, because she is controlling and he likes his own space. She has been desperately trying to marry him for at least 8 of these years. In my opinion, she just wants someone to take care of her financially.
He is now considering marrying her, because he "doesnt want to be alone in his old age"..he is in his mid-fifties. Personally, I think he is just settling, and could do a lot better. He's good looking and financially stable, and fun to be around.
I also worry I won't be able to spend time alone or traveling with him anymore... I love him dearly and don't want him to end up being hurt or have his spirit broken... What can I say????
My dad has been dating a woman on and off for over 10 years... He's always been hesitant to commit to her, because she is controlling and he likes his own space. She has been desperately trying to marry him for at least 8 of these years. In my opinion, she just wants someone to take care of her financially.
He is now considering marrying her, because he "doesnt want to be alone in his old age"..he is in his mid-fifties. Personally, I think he is just settling, and could do a lot better. He's good looking and financially stable, and fun to be around.
I also worry I won't be able to spend time alone or traveling with him anymore... I love him dearly and don't want him to end up being hurt or have his spirit broken... What can I say????
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by J. P. M. on -
I don't think you're going to like my advice - but here it is anyway: don't say anything. He is a grown man and he knows what he is doing - he is well aware of the positives and the negatives of his relationship. And my experience is there is usually not just ONE bad person in a relationship - so either she's not as bad as you think, or your old man is not as great as you think. I'm betting it's the former - because you sound really threatened by her.
It's a kid's (your) job to grow up - to move on - and to find some dude (or chick) to replace your old man. He can't stay single forever, just so that he's available for you to go traveling with. If your relationship with your dad is solid - and he's the stand-up guy you say he is, he'll continue to make time for you. Don't put distance between him and you by talking shit about his new girlfriend. He's older than you - he raised you - he knows what he's doing and he doesn't need advice from you.
As a side note - if you think that your relationship with your dad is in jeopardy talk to him and let him know that you aren't sure where you're going to fit in in his new life. As a dad to a (now almost 9 year old) daughter, I'm sure he will appreciate hearing that much more - and will quickly reassure you that you are irreplaceable.
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Permalink Reply by Eric Small on -
From my expierence there is not a lot you can say.
I have seen this many times... Does she make him happy? Is he happy around or or is he faking it?
All you can do is put it right out on the table as you see it and for better or worse you have to accept the out come.
Sorry I wish there was more I could say to this, but there really isn't.
He is going to do what he thinks is best for him.
All the luck with it though
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